my homily for my sister's wedding

Do Whatever He Tells You
(A Wedding Homily for Chris and Cheng)

Before I begin I would like to thank Fr. Edwin for allowing me to give the homily for this matrimonial celebration. It is a rare opportunity to have the permission to give a homily in a wedding, so thank you very much, father.

It is only appropriate that for our gospel reading today, we have the story of a wedding party. Jesus and his friends are guests in the celebration, along with his mother Mary. But suddenly we’re told of a nightmare-come-true for every party host: They run out of drinks. So Mary, ever helpful, decides to come to the rescue. She goes to Jesus and presents the problem to her son. But what does Jesus say to her? Jesus said, “Woman, my hour has not yet come.” Not by any stretch of the imagination does that sound like a “Yes.” But what does Mary do? Instead of walking out of the party in a huff and going home to pout, she stays and instructs the waiters to “do whatever he tells [them].” Her wisdom and patience pay off: Like a good mother, she knows that her son won’t be able to resist helping those in need. We are told that Jesus eventually turns six stone jars of water into wine. Mary, and we imagine the parents of the groom and bride; all have a collective sigh of relief.

Today, as we gather here to witness the sacrament union of Chris and Cheng, we too cannot help but have a collective sigh. Finally, Chris and Cheng will tie the knot this afternoon!

Chris and Cheng first met in a YFC camp at the Spinola Retreat House in 1996. But it was hardly love at first sight. Right Chris? Right Cheng? Both were serving YFC as leaders and they work together to conduct YFC activities in the region. Chris sees Cheng as snobbish, and on the other hand Cheng sees Chris as goody-goody – or so they claim with each other. But as these things go, they met more often when both were studying in the Ateneo, working much closer in YFC, and they remained good friends because of all of these. After two years of discerning, Chris finally decided to make the first move. So the phone calls began. Letters were exchanged. Even oppositions from here and there. And the rest is history.

After ten months of waiting, they decided to go steady in 2000, and they’ve been together for the last six years – except for some complications at times, according to their best estimate, about five months and three days. In those six years, what started out as mere youthful friendship has evolved into something more mature, something stronger – thanks to the years and at times even the tears that both Chris and Cheng have shed in nourishing their relationship.

By this time I’m sure Chris and Cheng have had their share of disillusionments about each other. They certainly already know – all too well! – one another’s fault and frailties. Like for example, Chris often notice how Cheng would walk out on him when they have a fight. And it irritates Cheng how Chris takes much time to decide on things, even in just choosing on what food to order in the menu.

But here they are today before us. They come to this wedding, eyes wide open, in full knowledge and freedom. As they exchange their free consent in our ceremony, they know who each one is saying “I do” to, what each one is saying “Yes” to. When Chris tells Cheng that he takes her as his wife, Cheng responds likewise, well does each one know who and what it is that they are taking: the lovable part, but also the not-so-lovable part; the good and happy times but also the tough and sad times.

For as we all know, even in the best marriages, there comes the time when the honeymoon ends, when Chris and Cheng, like the couple at the weeding banquet in the Gospel, will also run out of wine and will only have water, at times even stale water. And even in the best of life, there come those times experienced by every married couple when even the water in the cup from which they drink becomes mingled with tears. When that time comes, Chris, Cheng, do not lose heart. Do not panic, do not pack up and leave. Let us learn from Mary, the mother of Jesus who in our gospel story suggests two very important things, which you may want to use as guidelines as you begin your new life together.

First, Chris and Cheng, wait. Wait as Mary waited even if at first Jesus did not seem inclined towards granting her requests. She waited and kept faith even when her prayer was apparently not going to be answered. You are called to do the same, to learn to be patient especially with one another, and especially when life grows bland or bitter. Be assured that in time – and only in time – God turns our stalest water into the sweetest wine.

Second, as Mary suggested, do whatever Christ tells you to. Love one another as Jesus asks you to love one another. In this day and age when love seems printed everywhere in all sorts of font types and sizes, when love is found on the lips of every other pop singer, it is good to be reminded of what love really means: an unconditional acceptance of, and commitment to, a person, including all his or her strengths and weaknesses. This is the love that you, Chris and Cheng, have been trained for the past six years, and are now called to live out for each other starting today. It is a love that, with Christ, can grow stronger through the years.

This is our prayer for you, Chris and Cheng, we, your family and friends, who love you both dearly: That after many many years, as you sit surrounded by the laughter of your children and grandchildren, you will finally understand that if we do what Christ tells us, He will truly save the best wine for last. Amen.