friends in the lord

{this is a video we have made one time over lunch in our convent just for fun. yet it turn out to be a great video. we have showed it during the thanksgiving dinner and people really cried. hope you'll like this. to my jesuit community, i could never asked for a better jesuit community. thank you very much, my friends in the lord.}

class description

{here's my class description for my class 4 integrity titans which will be publised for the vinculuum yearbook. it has been a great year.}

4 Integrity Mighty Titans (por in-teg-ri-tee mai-tee tīt'n)

– noun

1. Composed of 37 highly distinct, talented and intelligent species, brainstormed by the cunning cute Jesuit to harness, with the principles of truth, diligence, generosity and integrity.
2. An epitome characterized by various shapes and sizes (ex. Monkey, Dr. love, Jackie, owl, kabz, korny, Ryan Agoncillo, valedictorian, buwaya, buang, juday, baka, alien, chris brown, pato, Rihanna, John Lloyd, abnu, scholar ng pilipinas, kamay, armpit, alabuton, tissue, disgrasyada, isog, mr. barker, haring banyo, britishly, isip-ulan, Barney, almost perfect, side kick, small wonders, strong five, extreme five, baon people, etc., etc., etc.) .
3. Always late, always cramming, always second but never the champion, yet bonded with the zeal to make a difference, to take up the challenge, and above all, to have fun and they did.
4. God’s cute and lovable children.

My dearest Mighty Titans,

Do you know what it means to love?

I started this question from our verse choir piece because I think this captures so much with what you have experienced in your 4^th year life. When I first met you during your 3^rd year recollection, I saw a class full of care and love with one another. Remember? The crying boys and girls! Though during that year there weren’t much to celebrate because of the many defeats and struggles you faced along the way. But that’s okay. I saw then the greatness in you and I realized what a great class this could turn out to be. And how mysterious life is? I stepped in as your 4 Integrity adviser though unworthy I am. During my watch, it gives me much pleasure to see you all growing these past months. You are now all different since the very day you stepped in the Integrity room. We never won any championship since the very start. But what is more important than trophies and recognition are the moments you have worked together, struggling to set aside differences and weaknesses. Those moments tested your friendship and bond, and it brought out the best of you. These memories I will always treasure in my heart. And I am so proud, proud, proud of all of you.

Thank you very much for sharing your life and your wonderful friendship with me. Do you still remember the time I said I won’t promise anything to you? But what I can offer is my friendship and presence, and that I will never leave you no matter what. I hope I was able to do this for you. But most of all, I wanted to thank you because you are really part of my vocation. Perhaps you don’t know but you have taught me so many things in life and my heart can’t really explain my gratefulness for you. Truly, "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."¹

Lastly, my final message for you is that whenever life seems so difficult to comprehend and to stay on, just remember these three important reminders: 1. God who will always love you unconditionally no matter what; 2. the spirit and memories of Ateneo, a home you can always relish and ignite again your hearts to desire for magis; 3. and somewhere out there, 37 of your friends including me are praying for you and softly cheering on for you … “everywhere we go, people wanna know, who we are, so we tell them, we are the Titans, the mighty mighty Titans, ohh ahh, ohh yeah, . . .”

So, do you know what it means to love?

¹ from The Little Prince

opening credits

{i haven't done much posting for a long time. pero here is one great post. this is the opening credit of our successful "journey to forver musical" last november 7-9. kudos to my idols mayad studios.}


Journey to Forever opening credits from Mayad Studios on Vimeo.

isew speech

{this is a speech i was asked to be given to the whole Ateneo de Iloilo community during the ISEW last may 26-28}

My Role in the Mission of the Ateneo de Iloilo
ISEW – Ateneo de Iloilo
27 May 2008

Good morning my fellow colleagues and friends. I was tasked to give my own reflection on “My Role in the Mission of the Ateneo de Iloilo.” At first I felt unworthy because I have only been here for one year and I believe that most of you can speak more on this theme. Due to my obedience to my superior, I will heed the call and I do hope that in the end of my sharing, I will be able to share some points for us to reflect in this workshop, especially my experiences as a Jesuit which we share a common mission.

Let me then start my sharing with a story. As I was preparing this reflection, I remembered a simple story that happened during my last year in college. During that time in Ateneo de Zamboanga, we would have a beauty contest called Miss Ateneo that would happen as a starting event for our weeklong Ateneo Fiesta on early Decembers. During that time I was part of the team that was to coach our contestant, our Miss Arts and Sciences, how to answer the question and answer portion of the contest. Not that our bet is “stubborn” or sort, but because we want our contestant to be as prepared as possible. Before the actual contest, our team would think of all the possible questions that the judge may ask and also think of the possible intelligent answers to those questions.

Just minutes before the question and answer portion of the contest, we made some final preparations. Suddenly, it just came to us, what if the question would be about the vision and mission of the school. Among all the possible questions, this question is what we have overlooked. Luckily, as a good Atenean like myself (ehem!), I have kept a leaflet in my wallet containing a summary of the vision and mission of Ateneo de Zamboanga. So we gave another short review to our contestant. And you know what? The question that our bet raffled has something to do with the vision and mission of the school and our contestant simply aced it and she eventually was crowned as Miss Ateneo of 1997.

Looking back at the story, I was amazed how we have done a great job in making our contestant a winner. Yes, our contestant became Miss Ateneo, but is she really a Miss Ateneo? Let this question be a springboard to my sharing. My sharing will basically focus on two questions that were given: first, what to me is the mission of Ateneo de Iloilo-Santa Maria Catholic School?; and second, how do I contribute to that mission?

Immediately, perhaps, when someone ask us this question, we might run back to what is usually written on the main doors of our school like the 7Cs (Christ-centered; men and women of competence, conscience, compassion, community, character and culture), being a Catholic, a Jesuit, and a Chinese-Filipino school. Perhaps, for someone who is familiar with the Jesuit Education System, this can be easily explained. But for me, answering this question may go beyond what is just written there. It should come from experience and from the heart. For me then, the mission of Ateneo de Iloilo is set our students and each other on fire. What do I mean to set each other on fire? This is not an invitation to go and burn each other, although some of us may occasionally feel that way, but these are images of fire – to be on fire for unity, to be on fire for purity, and to be on fire for service. Let these three images of fire be the three parts of my sharing.

Fire for unity

When there is one flame here and another flame there and you put the flames together, they will not put out each other. They harmonize; they become one flame, a bigger flame. So should it be with us. While we are on fire and we meet another who is on fire, there should be a meeting of hearts. There should be harmony and there should be oneness. As we try to form leaders, our students should be the point of unity because before they are able to lead, they first have to experience to bring us all together.

On the summer of 2006, I was assigned in Dingalan, Aurora to do Gawad Kalinga (GK) work. And there for a month, I helped build 3 GK houses and form the Kapit-Bahayan and the SIGA-Youth Program. I’ve thought that when I will arrive there things will be easy. But it came out differently. My work was really to start their organizations from scratch, elect officers, create by-laws, do initial fund raising, as well as do community building activities. These are the problems of the GK areas that time. When you put together different people from different places to live in one community, tensions can easily start because of these differences. Almost every night there would be disputes from one house to another. Almost every day I have to stand in the middle and facilitate compromises between arguing families. It was a very difficult situation for me. I was alone and sometimes I entertain the thoughts of packing-up. But I remembered a Jesuit friend once told me, that perhaps you don’t need to do anything concrete, but be with them. So I continued despite the difficulties. And then a great opportunity came. After letting them voice out their concerns, I have found a common fire among them, a fire that could lead a stronger and united GK community. They didn’t realize all along that they are brought together because they lost their old homes because of the great typhoon that year. Nobody can ever understand them except they themselves; they have each other to make this work. And slowly things were slowly turning out to be better.

My dear friends, I believe that we all share the same fire that’s why we are all here. Even with our students and parents, they too share the same fire. But putting these fires all together may be a challenging task. Yet this is our mission – we try to unite ourselves so that we can make a change, we can make a difference.

Fire for purity

Fire also cleanses. It purifies. That is why we cook food by subjecting it to fire. We must be on fire with purity -- not only purity that is chastity, but purity that is also honesty and sincerity. Purity also means generosity. The Gospel says that the Kingdom of God cannot be found by those who are lazy. Only those who go all the way, those who are pure of heart can discover the Kingdom of God. That is why the mission of our school is to call on our students to be generous with themselves even to the point of sacrifice, for the good and growth of the school as well as the community.

Two years ago, I was at the Game 4 of UAAP between Ateneo and UST. That year, it was clear that the UST team was better. They were leading in a big way, and it seemed impossible to close the gap. The Ateneo crowd was only one-third of the UST crowd in the jam packed Araneta Coliseum. I was feeling terribly discouraged and wanted to go home, concede defeat, give up, and I suspect many on the Ateneo side felt the same way. But there was a magical moment in the middle of all that discouragement. I don’t know who thought of it, but suddenly someone unfurled a banner for all to see. It simply said, “Summon the heart of a champion.” The effect on us was electric. It was as though someone had slapped us in the face, called us to remember what we had been. All of a sudden there was shouting, cheering, confidence, passion, energy until the end, where once there had been despair and mediocrity. We didn’t win, but it was a magnificent defeat.

Last year, as a class adviser with Sir H, it was not a golden year for our class. We never really won the crown among the many different competitions in high school – from cheerleading to verse choir, from sports events to spelling bee, from Alay kay Maria to Christmas Outreach fund raising. But if I may say so, we did well that year. We did well because we went an extra mile despite we knew that we can only strive as much. By these, winning had become secondary; it was the heart and sacrifices that each and everyone had put that mattered.

Fire for service

The third thing about fire that we should ask of the Lord thru St. Ignatius of Loyola, is that our hearts be on fire for service. This is our mission. We can be tempted to become lukewarm and indifferent to others and on the day our hearts no longer burn with fire, many others will die shivering from the cold! A lot of people are depending on our service to them. Our service takes on the form of igniting not only our students but also the entire Ateneo community so that everyone is given a chance to bring forth their talents and to let their light shine for others.

Whenever I feel tired or perhaps even at lost in my Jesuit vocation, I usually go back to my JVP experiences in Bilibid. As most of you know, I have worked in the New Bilibid Prisons for two full years as a rehabilitation officer. Though working in Bilibid was really tough, it is special in my heart because I have firmly found my Jesuit vocation there. And looking back at my experiences, I would never be this burning if it wasn’t the fire for service that our Jesuit fathers, my fellow program officers, and even the many selfless prisoners, has shown to me. They were persons of passion. Think of it. Sometimes we ask for food to eat because we share our food supplies to those prisoners in the hospital or even to some strangers. Sometimes we beg for money even to those who doesn’t believe in helping the prisoners so that we could send some children of prisoners to school. Sometimes we plead in front of government leaders and public personalities in order for the Death Penalty to be abolished. But in spite of all of these problems and obstacles, these persons of passion never cease to serve, they never cease to love. And I am so edified by their example that it had taught me to do the same no matter what.

Perhaps some of you might not believe the things I have done for the love of the ministry. I was the DJ of the dance during the HS acquaintance party. I sang the Psalm in a school-wide mass. I played basketball against the varsity team. I did cheer dancing and stunts with my students during the intramurals. I conducted a choral singing. I performed magic tricks in a program. I dressed in Korean costume to teach the famous Korean froggy dance in front of the GS assembly. I also dressed in Binukid costume for Fr. Manny’s birthday. I surprised my class by wearing a HS uniform. And most of all, my all time favorite, I dressed in Sto. Niño costume (which I look like a small Black Nazarene) during the Dinagyang week and gave candies to grades 1 and 2 pupils. Until now I still wonder how I did all of these stuff. When I look back with my experiences I sometimes caught laughing at myself about how I look and my different gestures. Yet at the same time I was also cautious that others might get me wrong thinking that I am just playing around. A fool for Christ -- I think this captures that fire for service. Regency for me is really a time to shine, a time to go an extra mile, to try new things, to make a difference. And to do these one must be a sort of a fool, going to the frontiers, all for God’s greater glory. And this is also what I feel is our mission as a school. Whether we are a teacher or staff, we can be a sort of a fool sometimes if only to make even one person realize that he is special and loved by God.

I would like to end my sharing in gratitude and in hope. Thank you very much for this opportunity to be with you, working with you, praying with you, and dreaming with you. I have learned and grown so much for this past year as a Jesuit Regent because of all of you, and I do hope that I have also contributed in my little own ways in fulfilling our school’s mission. And I also hope that I was able to give you some points to ponder on this theme. So when you will be invited to be a contestant of Miss or Mister Ateneo in the future, will you be able to answer in your own words what is YOUR mission in Ateneo de Iloilo. God bless you all and your love ones. Thank you, thank you very much.

Arthur W. Nebrao, Jr., SJ
2^nd Year Jesuit Regent (ADI-SMCS)

adi task force frank: pleas for your help

Typhoon Frank left thousands of families in Iloilo and Panay Region homeless. Accordingly, this is the worst disaster that has ever struck the region. As early as Saturday morning, June 21, reports came in from different towns and barangays of flash floods leaving entire barangays submerged. Many people evacuated their homes to seek refuge in churches, schools and other makeshift evacuation centers. Still many others remain trapped in their homes and waiting for rescue. Rescue efforts have been hampered by damaged bridges and roads. As of Monday morning, recorded death toll has reached more than 100. Most parts of the region have no electricity and water. Food and water are badly needed especially in worst hit towns and barangays.

In view of the emergency situation, we are pleading for your assistance for our brothers and sisters in Iloilo and Panay. We are in need of food, especially canned goods, clothing, and water. We will coordinate the distribution of goods with the Jaro Archdiocesan Social Action Center. Donations may be sent to:

Ateneo de Iloilo – Santa Maria Catholic School
c/o Fr. Manny Uy, S.J.
Bro. Arthur Nebrao, S.J.
139 General Blanco St., Iloilo City
Tel. (033) 337-5532
(033) 338-2245
Fax. (033) 336-2903
Email: anebrao@gmail.com

Cash donations will be greatly appreciated. You may also send your cash donations through:

Banco de Oro (BDO)
Iloilo SM Delgado Branch
Account Name: ADI TASK FORCE FRANK
Account Number: 0710515588

Let us continue to pray for the countless victims of Iloilo and Panay Region. Thank you for your generosity.

spartans (one more time)

{here's a final video for the spartans. thank you for everything. and goodluck to another stage in your life.}

for the greater glory of god

{i came across this old article by my friend aims apolinario who is the academic principal of xavier school. my jesuit brothers and myself shared about life of st. ignatius and a little of our vocation for their st. ignatius celebration.}

http://web.xs.edu.ph/issues2/2005%20-%20July%2027/highlights/Scholastics.php

my retreat reflection

{last april 15-23, the jesuit regents had their annual 8 day retreat. it was really a time for us, especially me, to reflect my regency year. i would like to share my reflection through this paper, for the lack of a better title, entitled chili sauce.}

Chili Sauce*
*made of olive oil and lots of chili (that sometimes we pinoy mistaken it as bagoong)

I love chili sauce! I almost always garnish my food with chili sauce. Ice cream with chili sauce? Bad combination. Believe me, I tried it. When I arrived in Iloilo last year, our supportive minister heed to my request for a supply of chili sauce. To satisfy my need for hot flavor, he bought me different brands of chili sauce to try on. And they are plenty. But let me narrow them down with my personal categories. There is the overly hot, decently hot, sweety-hot and of course there is the whatever hot. And I would like to use these images of chili sauces to describe my first year regency in Iloilo.

Overly Hot
I am presently assigned in Ateneo de Iloilo – Santa Maria Catholic School. We are a small Jesuit school that offers basic education here in Iloilo City. Many of my friends asked me, what is my work in Iloilo? I simply answer, “marami.” And most of the time they are persistent to really know the details. Fine. Here they are. I am the Campus Minster of the school. Take note, of the school. I am the 4^th year computer teacher – 3 classes, 1 preparation. I am the class adviser of my lovable 4^th year Integrity Spartans. I am the club moderator for Media Club 2 (Digital Workshop). I am a member of the Golden Jubilee Committee, PAASCU Team (CAT 3), Outreach Team, and Socials Committee. Not to mention the other small yet many tasks which are inserted by the school, parish, and the Jesuit community.

If I will tell all of these things to a teacher or to someone who is familiar with academic works, that person would probably say this is suicide. And I would agree on that. There are just too many things to do in this special school of ours. And knowing myself, I am a person who finds it hard to refuse any tasks or requests that is given to me. Moreover, who am I to complain when I see my fellow teachers, administrators, and Jesuits fathers and a brother working beyond their job description for the love of the school. These persons edified and reminded me to give my very heart into the things that I am called to do.

For someone who loves hot food to say that it is overly hot, then it must be really, really hot. But what a real chili enthusiast will do, he will try to take it in gradually until his taste buds can take the fiery flavor. And I think this has been who I am for the past school year. I have been giving myself to my work and accepting work that at a certain point it is really overly hot. But as I try to give myself, sometimes the overly hot is not hot at all.

Decently Hot
I don’t know if I should put these next entries in this reflection. It really brings me such deep gladness to hear stories of how people requested me as their regent. It may sound too boastful but it is true. (Hahaha, pagbigyan nyo na ako!) Really. Some Jesuits went out of their way to relay their intentions to Fr. Provincial whether by joke or serious conversations. I even know persons who offered prayers so that I may be assigned to their school. After hearing these stories I asked myself why? Who is Errol anyway for a regent? To content myself, I asked randomly three friends of mine. One said, “mabait ka kasi eh.” Another, “masaya kang kasama.” And still another, “kasalanan mo yan eh, ang dami mong pwedeng gawin.” Are all of these true? I will leave it up to you. What is significant at this point is that even before my colorful stories in regency ever begun, God somehow blessed it with rightful reasons and meaning – that I am where I am suppose to be. Somehow in between the difficulties, even pains and sacrifices, everything in Iloilo somehow fits. Though the work is really burdensome yet doing my mission in Iloilo allowed me to grow more in loving and serving my personal God.

A good chili person can easily tell if the spiciness of the food is decently hot. By the way, decently hot simply means “just tastefully hot or sort.” If you asked them how they know this they can’t give you a straight answer. Basta. I know I am not any closer to the teaching prowess of Eddieboy Calasanz or the religious charms of Fr. Mon Bautista or the talented gifts of Pokwang. But in ADI, I feel decently hot. Basta.

Sweety-Hot
Let us set my work aside for now. I think the next question is “do I still have time for fun?” Of course I have. Ano ako robot? (Hahaha) Despite the time constraints I still manage to insert some moments for myself. I usually love to walk around the city proper, going to Robinsons, SM Delgado, Atrium, and even to the far SM City at times. Honestly, I know how to get to these places by walking rather than riding a jeepney or trike. From these places I watch a movie, eat at Decos or Mang Inasal, do lots of window shopping especially admiring the new digital gadgets around, take pictures of scenery and structures, playing Time Crisis 2, eat the local chicken balls at the rotonda, and more. These are my simply joys in Iloilo.

But I think what really makes me happy (and sane) in Iloilo are the wonderful people. I think I have made many acquaintances this year. There are the complex and simple people of Iloilo, my drinking buddies, the videoke and dancing people, the serious and still serious people, and don’t forget the eating people (Ilonggos really know their food and they really love to eat!) All of them became part of my life because they share their lies with me which I can see God really dwells among them.

But among these friends, I would like to name few groups of persons that somehow made a significant mark in my first year of regency. First, the Golden Jubilee Batch, especially my 4^th year class advisory, the Integrity Spartans. These 40 unique individuals who were under my care for a school year had become my friends. They are the persons that I mingle almost everyday. I try to be their big kuya (despite my physical physique) especially during the trying times of the class. They form me by sharing their brokenness with me that reminded me of the promise I made as a Jesuit – to help souls. Since their graduation, I have truly missed them. Another group is my batchmates of teachers and staff. They are my batchmates because we started together in ADI and we have been supporting each other since then. I think what made my work a little lighter is because I know I am not alone when I started. That is why we understand what each other is going through. Still, a significant group is a family actually – the Taleon Family – composed of a mother, two elder daughters and the youngest son. Miss D (as I fondly call her) has been so generous to the school and its cause. But what makes this family so dear to me is that they consider us Jesuits as part of the family. Many times, especially on their special occasions, we are the only ones invited. I only hope that the kids do not feel differently that they are always in the company of crazy religious people. They really took care of me that made me feel I really have a family in Iloilo (even in Bacolod J) For this I am eternally grateful. I always pray for them that our good Father will always make his presence felt to them especially during times of difficulties and confusion. And lastly, there is my secret group. (Ehem!) Don’t worry they are good and harmless folks. I call them secret because they are out of the usual ADI-SMCS circle. Actually they are long friends in Iloilo and I am actually the outsider. I have a very good friend in the group and I was welcomed since the day I arrived. We meet usually once in a while where they take me out to a place that I have never eaten and we just talk practically almost anything except work related stuff. Somehow with these secrete friends I can just be myself and I have found another home among them. God is so good to bless me with such persons, such friends here in Iloilo.

The sweety-hot chili sauce tastes sweeter rather than hot. I guess that’s why many people love its taste that sometimes they put plenty of it over the food. I think this is also true in my relationships with the people I serve. All of them inspire me to keep on going no matter what. There are many wonderful reasons to thank for rather to be worried upon.

Whatever Hot
You might not believe me the things I have done for the love of the ministry. I was the DJ of the dance during the HS acquaintance party. I sang the Psalm in a school-wide mass. I played basketball against the varsity team. I did cheer dancing and stunts with my students during the intramurals. I conducted a choral singing. I performed magic tricks in a program. I dressed in Korean costume to teach the famous Korean froggy dance in front of the GS assembly. I also dressed in Binukid costume during the Araw ng Wika. I surprised my class by wearing a HS uniform. And most of all, my all time favorite, I dressed in Sto. Niño costume (which I look like a small Black Nazarene) during the Dinagyang week and gave candies to grades 1 and 2 pupils. Until now I still wonder how I did all of these stuff. When I look back with my experiences I sometimes caught laughing at myself about how I look and my different gestures. Yet at the same time I was also cautious that others might get me wrong thinking that I am just playing around. But one concrete thing I was able to share with the school was the Golden Jubilee Launching video. With the help of professional video crew (who did the technical parts of the production and post-production), the whole school community plus a fire truck, I was able to produce the 5 minute video for the 50^th anniversary of the school. I really poured my heart into this project that it gave me sleepless nights worrying on the many preparations at hand. It was truly a grace-filled sight when it was shown during the launching program and I saw some alumni shedding tears. I was really happy then.

A fool for Christ -- I think this captures my whole experience at this stage of formation. Regency for me is really a time to shine, a time to go an extra mile, to try new things, to make a difference. And to do these one must be a sort of a fool, going to the frontiers, all for God’s greater glory. And this is what I feel the Lord is calling me to do.

There are some chili sauces that you just can’t get its real taste. You just don’t know whether it is expired or not or somewhere in between. It’s such a mess. Actually, there are some ingredients that you can’t mix to create a better chili sauce. Basically you just need chili and oil. During this retreat my God reminded me to appreciate myself and what I have given as myself. When the school year was about to end, I was troubled if I did well or did I accomplish what I was suppose to do. And when I prayed over the document on “Regency as a Stage of Formation,” it uplifted my soul. It is said,

What has to be developed and put to the proof during regency is his capacity to give,
and to give himself, despite occasional encounters with difficulty and frustration.
Thus his ability to enter into his true identity as “minister”, as apostle, as a person
in the service of others, and thereby in the service of Christ, is put to the test. (1.4)

All the while, in the midst of my busy life, I didn’t seem to notice how the Lord has been trying to affirm all that I am doing, that I am doing just fine … just fine; such a great consolation.

Final Words on Chili Sauces

Perhaps these things I mentioned here don’t come across to some of you because I guess not many are actually fond with chili sauces. Well, for a batch of 9 for example, 5 of us like chili sauce that we always request from our beadle to buy a bottle during retreats and seminars. I use chili sauce in my reflection because at least I feel some part of your life you have encountered chili sauce especially eating dimsums like siomai or wanton. And perhaps also I am assigned in a Filipino-Chinese school so this practically apt rather than using siopao or pancit. (Hahaha) But kidding aside this has been my life experience as I have tried to describe it. During this retreat I tried to piece together how I ended up being a Jesuit and go back to the basics of my desires. And it started in simple tasting of serving and loving that eventually I wanted more. Same thing with the chili sauce, some taste it and turn away from it because they just couldn’t handle its spiciness. But for some who eventually liked it, craves for it, puts it even on different dishes. And at a certain point, even for a simple chili sauce, the chili person can distinguish it already to be overly hot, decently hot, sweety-hot, or whatever hot. But for many others, these are all just the same chili sauces.

The recently concluded school year was very memorable for me. It is the Golden Jubilee year of the school and it was really a good year to be assigned as a regent. Also this year I lost two love ones – my cousin Neneng and my adopted mother Fe. Neneng was the one who attended special moments in my early Jesuit life from my entrance days in Arvisu Prenovitiate and Sacred Heart Novitiate until my vow day in which my adopted family couldn’t attend to. And of course my very mother was always there for me at the very beginning at it all, quietly praying and supporting me. She has become my real mother and has always been my mother. How I wish that both of them could be there when I finally will be given the opportunity to serve God as a Jesuit Priest. This year also, two of my batchmates of ours left the Society and another one was diagnosed with stage 3 of skin cancer. These events really saddened our group. Yet, despite all of these, it was really a season of growth and grace for me, for all of us. And I thank the Lord for making me see all of these in the last few weeks of being here in Manila to rest with batchmates (rekindling our missionary spirit and desires), other Jesuits, and meeting great, great old friends (who believes and supports us). Now I am ready again to face my frontiers and taste a different kind chili sauce.

Arthur W. Nebrao, Jr., S.J.
15-23 April 2008
Regent’s 8 Day Retreat
Canossa Retreat House - Tagaytay

my speech for the last day of class

{i had my last class with my three fourth year classes and i made a little speech for them. it was senti mode.}

First of all, I would like to say thank you, thank you, thank you very much for a great school year together. As you know that this is my first year here in Ateneo de Iloilo and it was a great challenge for me to teach HS and being a class adviser of 4^th year students – who looks at me as one of their classmate, being the Campus Minister, taking part of the various projects of the school, and learning to be a Jesuit Regent. This is what I call parallel processing – doing many things at the same time. Moreover, this is a Golden Jubilee year and more has been expected. Indeed it has been a great year for me. And it wouldn’t be meaningful without you guys. You guys thought me how to learn and how to love. And for that I am ever grateful to you.

I am also sorry for the times that I have hurt or offended some of you. Sorry for the times that I have been insensitive of you. Rest assured that it was not ill-intentioned. Perhaps you already noticed that it is not in my nature to be angry at people (just like what my Integrity class expects me during big practices). It is because I don’t want to treat you as kids, but as adults. I don’t want to treat you as students, but as learners. I don’t want to treat you as clients, but as friends. So again, sorry for my lack.

How I wish I could have taught you CLE so that I could share with you about life and not on the technicalities of doing programming or an IT project alone. But if there is one thing that I would like to partake with you it is this. “Take the risk.” If you believe in doing something, then do it. As long as this is what you wanted, then no matter whatever others say, just do it, eventhough how long and hard the road may be to get there. And no regrets after that. I wish you all the best. I wish you all the happiness that the world can offer you. And I wish that we could see each other again. If I ever forget who you are, just remind me. I will pray for you and also pray for me. And hopefully when given the chance to be ordained, I wish to see you there because you have been part of my vocation.

There’s a song entitled “Sometimes” by the Carpenters that I would like to share with you because this captures a lot of my experience with you. I hope you like this song.

Sometimes not often enough
We reflect upon the good things
And those thoughts always center around those we love
And I think about those people who mean so much to me
And for so many years have made me so very happy
And I count the times I have forgotten to say thank you
And just how much I love them.

There is a tradition in Ateneo that during the last class of the 4^th year, the teachers usually give something to the students, something meaningful, something to remember by. And each subject teacher tries to give something unique. It may be a poem or a song. It may be flowers or letters. I have prepared something for you and hopefully it will remind you of our year together.

adi-smcs golden jubilee launching video

{this is the video for our golden jubilee launching celebration of the school that mayad studios and i worked and hoped to produced. and honestly it came really good and i would like to share with you. there are three parts of the video. first, the common scene in school; second, a short indie film; and third, the passing of the torch. it was shown during the launching last november 30, 2007, after that a 30 second countdown and 5 minute fireworks to start the celebrations.}

preparations: reasons, miracle and hope

Homily
24 December 2007 (Evening Mass)
Santa Maria Parish

Good evening. Let me start my sharing with a story. Part of my work as a Campus Minister at the school is to give recollections and facilitate retreats to our students, faculty and staff. In giving a retreat or a recollection, it is very crucial on how you create the environment and the mood for prayer. If you have failed in this aspect, it is difficult to bring their attention to pray, to reflect, or even to cry. That is why in every recollection and retreat, I take time to really prepare in the best way that I can – to make a list of what to bring, to do a little dry-run, to check all of these things again and again until I feel satisfied. One time, I was giving a recollection to a group of high school students (from which section I will not mention) and I was suppose to show a very touching film that I hope will make them truly reflect upon their life. Hence, as not to fail this opportunity, I prepared three copies of the film just to be sure. One, I had a VCD copy of the film. Two, I made another copy in a laptop. And three, I made another copy in my USB Flash Disk. Obviously, I was prepared then even so with the different equipments to be used. It seems nothing can stop me from showing that film. Even one fails, I still have two other options to show the film. Then the moment finally arrived. I set up everything even with my back-ups. I switched the player on. I placed the VCD in the player. And then when I was just about to push the play button, when I was just about to show the film, the lights simply went off. The moment simply died in an instance and I felt so sad.

My dear friends, I started this story because I feel that all of us prepare in one way or another at any given point in our life. We do many preparations for many things in our daily life. We prepare our clothes to wear. We prepare our list to buy in the market or grocery. We prepare for a quiz or an exam. We prepare for the many things that we need to accomplish during the day. And there are also big preparations especially events in our lives like birthdays, our first communion, graduations, 18^th birthdays, big presentations and meetings, first dates, weddings, investments, and of course we prepare for the many events during Christmas – like the Simbang Gabi, gifts, Christmas tree and decors, Noche Buena, and others. Why then do we need to prepare? Perhaps the obvious and simple reason is because we want things to be in order. We want things to be ready. We expect things to be this way rather than another. We want things to be as close as perfect because we might not have the right moment again. And that is why preparation is indeed important. If we are more prepared, things will turn out fine.

Our Gospel for this evening is the Christmas story. We hear the story how Mary and Joseph came to Bethlehem and gave birth to Jesus. They were visited by the Shepherds and there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” But if we try to take a closer look at the Nativity story, perhaps we can see more clearly on what really happened that night. Come to think of it, Joseph and Mary must have been prepared for the long travel to go to Jerusalem because during that time, it is no joke to travel in long distances. Historians say that they must have packed their food for each day’s meal. They must have prepared a good supply of water. And they must have marked where to stop-over for them to rest and replenish their supply. I guess Joseph and Mary did prepare well. But in the middle of the story we see a little problem. Despite their many preparations, they didn’t have a place to lay Jesus when it was time for him to come. Instead, Jesus was born in a manger, surrounded by cattle and sheep, and he was wrapped in swaddling clothes.

My dear friends, preparation is indeed important. If we are more prepared, things will turn out fine. But there is also a reality in life that despite the preparations, there are things that are beyond our control and sometimes things do not turn out the way we hope it should be. If we look back at the things that have happened to us during the year, perhaps we can see those moments when things didn’t turn out to be the way we planned it. But I do believe that there is a reason why sometimes things simply fail. I believe that there is a miracle that is happening during those moments. I believe there is hope that can come out of this experience. And that is what has happened in our Christmas story despite the preparations of Mary and Joseph. There is a reason, a miracle, and hope that Jesus was born in a manger, surrounded by cattle and sheep, and he was wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Before I became a Jesuit, I worked for two years as a rehabilitation officer in the New Bilibid Prisons in Muntinlupa. The experience of spending Christmas with our brothers in prison is really memorable for me. During this season, there are many preparations that take place inside the prison walls. Christmas is really like a great fiesta for them. There are many colorful and shining Christmas parols and decors displayed all around the prison compound. You could hear Christmas carols being practiced and sang all over the place, and honestly, many are quiet good. They are faithful with the Simbang Gabi masses. And many former chef and cook take part in preparing hundreds and hundreds of roasted pig and chicken for the Noche Buena feast. But for them, preparing for Christmas is not solely all of these. Christmas for them is more importantly preparing themselves to receive a phone call, a letter, or a visit from a love one or a family. However, it is a reality that most of them won’t be receiving a phone call, a letter, or a visit this Christmas. But when you are inside with them during Noche Buena, nobody looks sad. Everybody seems to be very happy when there are hundreds of reasons that I can share with you why they suppose be sad. No. I believe they are happy not because of the many things they have to experience Christmas, but it is because they have found the reason, the miracle, and hope in preparing to celebrating Christmas.

For the past nine days during the Simbang Gabi, we have been listening to the wonderful sharing of our dear fathers. We have heard stories about hope and waiting. We have heard the struggles of Mary and Joseph in accepting the invitation of God to take part of the coming of Jesus. We have heard the role of our desires with the desires of our God for us. Hopefully, all of these have helped us reflect and prepare more to embrace the meaning of Christmas. That Christmas is not solely on the many colors and presentations we create for the season, it is not solely in the food and gift we give and receive, but is in the preparations with the reasons, miracle and hope that go with it. Today, Christ is born, the Emmanuel, God with us. In the midst of all kinds of preparations in our life – we may succeed or not – always remember that Jesus is always prepared to be with us. And as long as we take Christ in our lives and preparations, we may find our reason, our miracle, and our hope in our experiences.

To end my sharing, let me simply bring you back once more to my story. Perhaps you were thinking what happened afterwards since there is no electricity to show the film. I simply led the class into a prayer and I felt they were able to pray more deeply rather showing them the film. Then I realized that I have just found the basic reason for the recollection. The same thing for celebrating Christmas -- why Christ was born.

As we celebrate Christ’s coming, let us thank Him for coming into our lives and showing us the true meaning of love and compassion. Let us thank the Lord for the many things that has happened to us during the year both the happy and not so happy ones, despite the many preparations we had put into. Let us also pray for one another, most especially for our family, that we may continue to find the reason, the miracle, and the hope in continuing the love of God into their hearts. Amen.

tribute to spartans

3 day retreat

Three Day Retreat
31 October - 2 November 2007
Banate, Iloilo

I am glad that I had this time to be quiet, to pray and to reflect the things that has happened to me for the last few months since I have arrived here in Iloilo. Indeed, as I start my prayer, I realized that there were many blessings and graces that I have received and thankful for. Here are three significant areas that I would like to share.

My Vocation and Work

Being a Jesuit Regent is hard. There are many things that are demanded of us. Just like my work here in Ateneo de Iloilo, since there are many things to do, it is hard to manage my time both personal and work-related that sometimes I ended up being scolded by my superiors. Not that I am complaining, but simply I am expressing that this kind of life is hard.

Perhaps the next question here is how do I sustain myself from giving myself to my work? After praying, I realize that it is this love for my personal God that I fully give myself to whatever He calls me to do despite the difficulties and challenges. As I end my day, as I end it with a short prayer, I always offer to my God whatever I have accomplished and simply thank Him for allowing me to humbly take part of His work. These are the hard consolations and joys that have brought about my dealings with students and colleagues.

I admit that I am not a good teacher and a campus minister. I know there are more qualified persons in school who can perform much better than I am. Yet, I give myself to my work because I know despite my weaknesses; I can still touch a soul to bring him or her closer to God. As I usually say, if I can only help one soul, to show that person that he is loved by God, then I feel I have done my part and I am truly happy.

Community and Friends

I am blessed with a good community both in the convent and in school. I describe my Jesuit community as a complete package. Though we are only five in the community, it may represent already a typical Jesuit community where the “drama of life” really unfolds (ask a Jesuit if you don’t understand this part). Life with these persons can be really a challenging one. Come to think of it, how can someone live with his bosses under one roof? Well, that’s the Jesuit way. But what I am grateful for is that despite our differences and concerns, we can laugh together especially when we eat and share stories. I guess that sustains us as a community. We understand somehow our differences, yet there is the spirit of understanding.

In school, especially the faculty and staff, I really appreciated how they welcomed me. Is it because I am a Jesuit? Well, that is a factor. But I have felt I have been welcomed for who I am and that meant a lot to me. Because of these, I can easily relate from one person to another. I can simply be myself. I am grateful how they also open their lives to me. As they share their stories I am always reminded of my mission – to be a companion with Christ.

Outside of the convent and school, I have a circle of friends that I usually meet at least once a month. They are friends that I can easily unwind myself and share stories that are not Jesuit and school related. I thank the Lord for them because it is a special blessing how we met and brought us together here in Iloilo.

These people are the sources of my consolation as I move along with my journey. And I really thank the Lord for giving me such persons who takes care of me as well as molding me into the person the Lord desires me to be.

Four Integrity Spartans

Being a first time teacher here in Ateneo, I was hoping to be assigned as an adviser of the first year, second year, and even of the third year. No. I was assigned in a fourth year class called Spartans. I sometimes pity my class because they deserve a veteran adviser since this is their last year – like in the traditions of Sir Primo and Maam Lally.

Looking at the situation as I pray, I have found more meaning to why I was assigned in this class. They are a good class. There are natural leaders in the class that lead and guide them to whatever activities and tasks at hand. Then I realized that they don’t really need someone to stern at them – though at times they really need that and I thank to Sir H (my co-adviser) for being that – they need someone to affirm them, to push them and support them. And I guess that is my role to them. Someone who is by their side whatever happens. I only hope that I have been a good adviser and a friend to them. For the rest of their stay, I will do my best to make these last months more memorable and meaningful to them.

These are the few three areas of gratitude that I prayed over during my personal retreat. After reflecting my stay here in Iloilo, I thank the Lord that I have grown here. Each step is a learning experience for me that I allow myself to fail and to nurture. I continue to ask God to give me the grace of sensitivity so that I may be able to sense Him in every person, places, and experiences that I will encounter.