ika'y aking kaibigan

{here is a song that i love from the play "kaharian ng araw." i hope you'll like this one.}

Ika'y aking kaibigan
Ka'y raming pinagsamahan
Ngayon ako'y kailangan
Paano kita, iiwan

Anumang tarik ng bundok
Kasama mo ako sa taluktok
Kung rurok dagat ang siyang alok
Kasama mo akong aarok

Anumang lagim ng bangin
Anumang bangis ng hangin
Malalaglag man ang mga bituin
Makakaasa ka sa akin

urban trials

{this is a little tribute to our foster family and friends during our urban trials last november 2003}

loyola house community picture (jps)

coming out of the water

Homily
ACLC Retreat
23 October 2006

Good evening. Let me start my simple sharing with an image -- a fish coming out of the water. Just imagine, a photo, a painting, a captured movie frame, an image of a fish suspended some inches on air above the water. I invite you to take that image with you as we move along.

Studies show that no fish would just jump out of the water for no reasons at all. A fish would jump out of the water for the following reasons: 1. when a fish is in threat like it is being hunted down by its predator or fishermen; 2. when it is being startled or surprised; 3. during events of environmental hazards; and 4. a fish is simply a flying fish that is capable of getting out of the water from time to time. But there were very rare cases recorded that a fish would simply jump out of the water for no logical, rational, and perhaps, if a fish would have one, even psychological reasons. However, for the purpose of my sharing, the fish simply jump for a spiritual reason – just to be with God even just for a while.

My friends, I started out with this information because it speaks so much of what we are doing here right now. We are all coming out of the water. Coming to this retreat is coming out of the water. And I would like to believe our water is our home, our family and friends, our time doing the things we like to do leisurely, like watching movies, going to the beach, attending parties and gigs, playing bridge or basketball, and even perhaps just savoring that tasteful new cake of red ribbon. This is our water. And surely for most of us, leaving our water is not an easy thing to do. It takes much courage and love to do this.

The Gospel for today speaks the opposite of this love and courage. Our Gospel for today is about greed. Jesus said, “Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one’s life does not consist of possessions.” Then Jesus narrates a parable about a rich man who invested and invested, rested, ate, drunk, and cheered, without realizing that he can’t bring all of these to heaven. The rich man didn’t value true wealth. The rich man then didn’t come out of his water.

My friends let us realize that when a fish comes out of the water, it can’t breath. It is a new world for the fish. It is like a desert where our water ends. Just like the fish, when we are in retreat, we can’t breathe the way we breathe when we are in our water. It is like a desert for us. As if we are not breathing for five full days. Yet when we stop breathing, when we are in our deserts, we are giving ourselves spaces, spaces to find that inner peace, hope, healing and perhaps truthful discernment and perspective of life.

As many of you are aware of, part of our Jesuit formation is to make the 30 day retreat. Thirty days of silence and prayer, which is the Spiritual Exercises. And part of that retreat was a prayer called, “Mediation of Hell.” We are to meditate the feeling of being in hell. And so our retreat director would ask us to choose a scary and difficult place for us to pray, to really experience hell. Perhaps, for most of us, hell is already being in a classroom. Yet some of my batchmates did this exercise in our cemetery in Sacred Heart at 12 o’clock midnight. Others did it at our piggery with all the dirt and stench. I did this exercise in our showers where it was once a morgue during World War II. The exercise made us feel spiritually poor and hopeless. The exercise choked us. But it was through this experience, this sense of being choked, that we were caressed by God’s loving embrace.

So friends, don’t worry too much. Be open to God’s love and grace during this retreat. And in His own time, he will reveal himself to you -- from the most profound and mysterious events in prayer, to the simplest and effortless routine that we do in this retreat. Just like when a fish jumps out of the water, it will eventually fall back again in the water. And always remember that you are not alone in this retreat. We too, as your Retreat Directors and Quarter Masters, we too jumped out of our water to stop breathing to be with you on your spiritual journey. So don’t worry too much. Just give yourself and it has its own rewards.

Let me end my sharing with a reflection about the fish the jumps out of the water. It is said that a fish that jumps out of the water with no reasons at all is a very rare case, one out of a billion, a phenomenon, a miracle. Again, studies show that 99% percent of these fishes or all of these fishes would never, ever jump again on its own without any valid reasons. Scientists consider this as one of natures’ mysteries. Nevertheless, I believe I know the answer. Perhaps, when such fish jumps and returns back to the water, when someone like you who will undergo spiritual solitude and silence for five long days, going back to the water, going back to your own world, with such longing and grace, things will never ever be the same again.

As we continue to give ourselves to the retreat, let us continually ask the Lord to keep that spirit always alive in our hearts – the spirit of being invited to come out of the water and to be with God even just for a while. Amen.

my homily for my sister's wedding

Do Whatever He Tells You
(A Wedding Homily for Chris and Cheng)

Before I begin I would like to thank Fr. Edwin for allowing me to give the homily for this matrimonial celebration. It is a rare opportunity to have the permission to give a homily in a wedding, so thank you very much, father.

It is only appropriate that for our gospel reading today, we have the story of a wedding party. Jesus and his friends are guests in the celebration, along with his mother Mary. But suddenly we’re told of a nightmare-come-true for every party host: They run out of drinks. So Mary, ever helpful, decides to come to the rescue. She goes to Jesus and presents the problem to her son. But what does Jesus say to her? Jesus said, “Woman, my hour has not yet come.” Not by any stretch of the imagination does that sound like a “Yes.” But what does Mary do? Instead of walking out of the party in a huff and going home to pout, she stays and instructs the waiters to “do whatever he tells [them].” Her wisdom and patience pay off: Like a good mother, she knows that her son won’t be able to resist helping those in need. We are told that Jesus eventually turns six stone jars of water into wine. Mary, and we imagine the parents of the groom and bride; all have a collective sigh of relief.

Today, as we gather here to witness the sacrament union of Chris and Cheng, we too cannot help but have a collective sigh. Finally, Chris and Cheng will tie the knot this afternoon!

Chris and Cheng first met in a YFC camp at the Spinola Retreat House in 1996. But it was hardly love at first sight. Right Chris? Right Cheng? Both were serving YFC as leaders and they work together to conduct YFC activities in the region. Chris sees Cheng as snobbish, and on the other hand Cheng sees Chris as goody-goody – or so they claim with each other. But as these things go, they met more often when both were studying in the Ateneo, working much closer in YFC, and they remained good friends because of all of these. After two years of discerning, Chris finally decided to make the first move. So the phone calls began. Letters were exchanged. Even oppositions from here and there. And the rest is history.

After ten months of waiting, they decided to go steady in 2000, and they’ve been together for the last six years – except for some complications at times, according to their best estimate, about five months and three days. In those six years, what started out as mere youthful friendship has evolved into something more mature, something stronger – thanks to the years and at times even the tears that both Chris and Cheng have shed in nourishing their relationship.

By this time I’m sure Chris and Cheng have had their share of disillusionments about each other. They certainly already know – all too well! – one another’s fault and frailties. Like for example, Chris often notice how Cheng would walk out on him when they have a fight. And it irritates Cheng how Chris takes much time to decide on things, even in just choosing on what food to order in the menu.

But here they are today before us. They come to this wedding, eyes wide open, in full knowledge and freedom. As they exchange their free consent in our ceremony, they know who each one is saying “I do” to, what each one is saying “Yes” to. When Chris tells Cheng that he takes her as his wife, Cheng responds likewise, well does each one know who and what it is that they are taking: the lovable part, but also the not-so-lovable part; the good and happy times but also the tough and sad times.

For as we all know, even in the best marriages, there comes the time when the honeymoon ends, when Chris and Cheng, like the couple at the weeding banquet in the Gospel, will also run out of wine and will only have water, at times even stale water. And even in the best of life, there come those times experienced by every married couple when even the water in the cup from which they drink becomes mingled with tears. When that time comes, Chris, Cheng, do not lose heart. Do not panic, do not pack up and leave. Let us learn from Mary, the mother of Jesus who in our gospel story suggests two very important things, which you may want to use as guidelines as you begin your new life together.

First, Chris and Cheng, wait. Wait as Mary waited even if at first Jesus did not seem inclined towards granting her requests. She waited and kept faith even when her prayer was apparently not going to be answered. You are called to do the same, to learn to be patient especially with one another, and especially when life grows bland or bitter. Be assured that in time – and only in time – God turns our stalest water into the sweetest wine.

Second, as Mary suggested, do whatever Christ tells you to. Love one another as Jesus asks you to love one another. In this day and age when love seems printed everywhere in all sorts of font types and sizes, when love is found on the lips of every other pop singer, it is good to be reminded of what love really means: an unconditional acceptance of, and commitment to, a person, including all his or her strengths and weaknesses. This is the love that you, Chris and Cheng, have been trained for the past six years, and are now called to live out for each other starting today. It is a love that, with Christ, can grow stronger through the years.

This is our prayer for you, Chris and Cheng, we, your family and friends, who love you both dearly: That after many many years, as you sit surrounded by the laughter of your children and grandchildren, you will finally understand that if we do what Christ tells us, He will truly save the best wine for last. Amen.

my baby pic

{here is my baby pic, i am around 1 or 2 years old here. this is me even now. my hair stands and this is the way i sleep. hehehe, just a realization. this is alo the new logo for my site.}

lagi magsuot ng malinis na salawal

Homilya
Kapilya ng JP
Ika-5 ng Disyembre 2006

Magandang umaga mga kapatid. Nais kong simulan ang aking homilya sa isang pagpapaliwanag sa librong nabasa ko na may pamagat na “Always Wear Clean Underwear.” Sa tagalog, “Lagi magsuot ng malinis na salawal.” (Ginawa ko lang yun para ma-impress kayo) Nakakatuwa itong libro na ito dahil ito ay mga listahan ng mga sinasabi ng ating mga magulang tulad nang, “Huwag umihi sa swimming pool,” o ”Kumain kayo ng gulay,” o “Tumingin muna sa kaliwa’t kanan bago tumawid sa kalsada.” At sa bawat naka-lista, meron mga dahilan na binibigay ng taga-akda kung bakit sinasabi ito ng atin mga magulang. Halimbawa sa “Huwag umihi sa swimming pool,” sinasabi nito ng atin mga magulang dahil para turuan tayo na huwag gumawa ng masamang gawain, kahit na walang tumitingin o walang makapag-huli sa atin.

Mga Kapatid nagsimula ako sa librong ito dahil ito ay angkop sa sinasabi ng Ebanghelyo. Sa Ebanghelyo natin ngayon sinabi ni Hesus, “Nagpupuri ako sa iyo, Ama, Panginoon ng langit at lupa, sapagkat inilihim mo ang mga bagay na ito sa mga pantas at sa matatalino, at ipinahayag sa maliit. Gayon nga, Ama Ko, ang ikasisiya ng iyong kalooban.” Dito sinasabi ni Hesus na masaya siya na makita ang mga karaniwang tao na naiintindihan at tinatangap ang Salita ng Diyos.

Ngunit meron pang sinasabi dito sa Ebanghelyo at ito ay ang epekto ng mapagkumbaba at ito ay ang espiritwal na pagkabata. May katumbas ito sa Mateo na sinasabi, “Katotohanang sinasabi ko sa inyo, malibang kayo’y magsipanumbalik, at maging tulad sa maliliit na bata, sa anumang paraan ay hindi kayo magsisipasok sa kaharian ng langit." Subalit sa pagka-alam natin na itong espiritwal na pagkabata ay hindi tungkol sa pagiging mahina, pagiging malambot, o pagiging mangmang. Ngunit pagiging bata dito ay tungkol sa pagtaboy ng atin sarili bilang mayabang at hustong tao. At sa ganitong paraan, mas nakikita natin ang atin sarili na hindi natin kaya gumawa ng ano man bagay ng atin sarili lamang.

Ngayon balikan natin ang librong tinutukoy ko kanina. Siguro para mas tugma sa buhay natin ngayon, palitan ko ang ”Kumain kayo ng gulay” sa “Kumain kayo ng isda.” Siguro kung sasabihin tayo nito ni Fr. Herb, hindi pa rin tayo susunod dahil karamihan sa atin ay ayaw kumain ng isda lalo na kung ito ay naka-lutong sabaw. Ngunit sa mga bata, kahit ayaw nila, kahit hindi nila ganap na maintindihan ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan nila kumain ng isda, gagawin at gagawin nila ang sinasabi ng kanilang magulang. Kaya masaya si Hesus sa Ebanghelyo. Masaya siya dahil kahit ang mga karaniwang na mga tao sa pagkakataon na iyon, tulad sa mga bata, naniwala at tinanggap ang mga Salita ng Diyos.

Mga kapatid ito siguro ang hamon natin bilang mga relihiyosa na araw-araw ay tinatanggap ang Salita ng Diyos tuwing misa. Sana, katulad ng mga bata, kahit tayo’y natatamad, kahit hindi natin naiintindihan ang mga pagbasa, tangapin pa rin ito at magtiwala. Tulad ng mga magulang sa librong binangit ko, meron itong dahilan, at ang Diyos Ama natin ay may dahilan sa mga utos niya sa atin. At syempre alalahanin rin natin na kailangan natin ng grasya at ang tulong ng Diyos Ama para hanapin ang tamang daan at manatili dito. Sa pagiging maliit na bata, kailangan magpabaya ng sarili tulad ng bata, magtiwala tulad ng bata, humingi tulad ng bata.

Sa panahon ng adbiento, sana lubos natin nagagalak na hintayin ang pagdating ni Hesus at tangapin at lubos magtiwala sa Salita ng Diyos. At syempre, “Huwag umihi sa swimming pool,” ”Kumain kayo ng isda,” at “Tumingin muna sa kaliwa’t kanan bago tumawid sa kalsada” dahil meron itong mga dahilan.

my birthday captured!

{here are some photos and stints of my birthday celebration, with jvp, my unit, and aclc, maraming salamat sa lahat!}

first star i see tonight

{for the next days, i will post my christmas entries during my juniorate. this one is my short story entry that won first place. hope you enjoy this}

First Star I See Tonight

In an open window of St. Francis Orphanage stands a little girl named Jenny. Almost every day, before the sun fully sets, she goes to this small window to wait for the first star to appear in the evening sky. Soft as a whisper, she recites a wish from her heart. “Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, get the wish, I wish tonight.”

Nobody knows Jenny so as much as Norie, a social worker in the orphanage. It was one rainy night, twelve Christmases ago, when Norie heard a knock at the front door of the orphanage. She rushed to open the door and found no one, no one but a crying baby girl wrapped in bright colored linen, lying on their doorstep. Norie immediately took the baby in, changed her clothes, and fed her with warm milk. The baby’s cry subsided. Strangely, the baby’s bright eyes were fixed on Norie as if the baby had seen her before. From then on, Norie called her Jenny. As Jenny grew up, the two became the best of friends.

It is three days before Christmas and everybody in the orphanage wears a big joyous smile on his or her face. No corner of the house is without bright Christmas decorations, twinkling lights, the smell of unwrapped goodies, and the sound of merry cheers that go with all of these. Since the holiday started, the three storey orphanage is always cramped with different charitable groups who come yearly for a scheduled visit to the children. With their visit, they bring food, clothes, and Christmas presents creating for the children a little heaven in the small house. They talk to them, sing for them, and play with them. It is indeed the most wonderful time of year in the orphanage. Everybody is happy. Everybody but Jenny.

Every year, every Christmas, Jenny is this way. She goes out of her way to try to experience what Christmas is all about. She stuffs herself with all the yummy food she can eat until her tummy aches. She puts on all the clothes given to her until she is laughed at by the other children. She plays with all the toys until the thrill expires. Yet in the end, she still feels abandoned and confused. She often sits in one corner, quietly feeling the delight of her surroundings to unfold.

“Is this all that Christmas is about?” Jenny asks Ate Norie.

“Why do you ask?” Ate Norie politely retorts stooping down in front of Jenny.

“I eat all the food, I wear all the clothes, I play with all the toys…but I still can’t see what’s so special about Christmas.”

Ate Norie, with admirable patience, simply replies, “Christmas… Christmas is special not because of the gifts we receive, but because of the great love we feel in our heart during this season of giving and sharing.”

“But I still can’t see it?”

Ate Norie smiles. She holds Jenny’s hands. “You know what I usually do? I listen to my heart. It can see things beyond what our eyes can see.”

On the next day all the children, from five years old and above, are busy preparing for the most awaited day of the season – the Christmas adoption day. Each year, a family or a childless couple would pick an orphan to adopt and the child then spends Christmas day with them. It is a special treat for the children of St. Francis Orphanage. However, the painful reality is that not all the children are brought home for Christmas. Many are luckily picked but a few are helplessly left behind. Unfortunately, for years now, Jenny is one who hasn’t gone with a couple for Christmas. Even though she dresses herself beautifully, even though they say lovely things about her, even though she always presents herself with the cutest smile, the couples never pick her.

It is Christmas Eve tonight. The gate of the orphanage is opened as early as four o’clock in the afternoon. All eligible children are placed inside the T.V. room to watch endless Disney movies as they wait to be called. By late afternoon, most of the children have been picked and fetched by their adopted families. And there in her little corner Jenny, in her very best, patiently waits for someone to pick her. The afternoon sky starts to turn into a mellow, reddish portrait. It’s getting late. Nobody is arriving any more. She and a few others are the only ones still watching the movie.

Finally, the sound of the closing gate resounds. It is final. The rest of them won’t go to a family tonight. All of them are called back to the dining hall where the staff has prepared a grand noche buena and gifts for them. Jenny seems not to be interested. She goes upstairs to her window and recites her wish, as she usually does. Then a surprise. Someone is beside her.

“Who’s there?”

A familiar voice tickles Jenny’s heart. “Don’t be afraid, Jenny. It’s me.”

“Ate Norie! What are you doing here?”

“Well, I am going to take you home with me…tonight…and the rest of the nights. You don’t need to come to this window and make your wish ever again.”

“O, Ate Norie!” Jenny embraces Norie and bursts into tears.

“Why are you crying, Jenny?”

“Ate Norie, all I’ve ever wanted is to be able to see, so that I may see the world as you see it, with your own eyes. I wish I could see the goodies I eat, I wish I could see the clothes I wear, I wish I could see the toys I play with, and I wish I could see all of these…”

Silence fills the room. With her hand, Jenny is feeling her heart throbbing with much gladness. Jenny smiles. Then, in her blindness, she tries to feel Norie’s face with her hands.

“But most of all, I wish I could see you, the only mother I recognize. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I thank you for the wish you granted me tonight.”

Arthur Nebrao, Jr., SJ
2 December 2004

salamat aclc

then i will buy you shoes like mine

{this is a homily i gave for aclc retreat last 2004. for the next week i will be giving again the same retreat for the third time and i would just like to share this to all of you.}

19 October 2004
Memorial of St. John Brebeuf, St. Isaac Jogues, martyrs and companions
Tuesday, 29th Week of Ordinary Time

Perhaps for some of us here, our brothers or sisters have already their own children; we already have nieces in our family. I have a niece and her name is Camille. I’d like to share with you a story involving my niece. It is a story I cannot forget.

I think that it is common for little girls to love playing “grown-up.” Perhaps, many of you have experience this when you were still a child. They put on their mother’s shoes, slinking their moms’ handbags around their arms. They sit in front of the dresser and put on their mothers’ make-up: lipstick and powder. Girls start to do these things even when they are only three or four years old.

My niece, Camille, was no exception. She loved wearing her mother’s shoes even if they were too big for her tiny feet. She would often ask my sister, “Mommy, when will you buy me shoes like yours?” My sister would always tell her, “You eat and you sleep so that you’ll grow up and your feet will become big. Then, I will buy you shoes like mine.” She got to be so persistent about this that she’d ask my sister day in and day out: “Mommy, when will you buy me those shoes?” My sister, with admirable maternal patience would always give the standard reply: “You eat and you sleep so that you’ll grow up and your feet will become big. Then, I will buy you shoes like mine.”

I would like you to call to mind this story each time you ask: Why does God take time in answering prayers? I say this because, probably, just like my niece, our feet are too small and our petitions are too big. And God would have to say, “You eat and you sleep so that your feet will grow big. When your feet are big enough, I will grant you the shoes you are asking for.” That is why God seems to delay. Not that God is a sadist. Not that God enjoys seeing us grovel. Not that God enjoys seeing us suffer. It is not because of all these that He has not given us our shoes. No. It is simply God’s way of encouraging us to eat and sleep and take care of ourselves. As it were, to grow and grow some more in His grace so that our hearts will grow big, big, big enough for all the love that He will give us.

My friends, I am telling you this simple story because there is a certain truth about prayer. Prayer is a mystery. Perhaps for some of us here, even at this midpoint of our retreat, we are still encountering difficulties in our prayer. Perhaps, it is still hard to find that inner silence. Perhaps, we are still clouded with distractions and expectations. Perhaps even, we are just starting to find that perfect spot to encounter our God. Why some good prayers are not answered?

Today, we celebrate the memorial of St. John Brebeuf, St. Isaac Jogues, and companions. They were French Jesuits who missioned for the native Hubron of North America. They were martyred by the tribes who believed in a different value. The stories of these martyrs are very rich, but what struck me was the prayer of St. Brebeuf. It is said, that even as a child, St. Brebeuf prayed to God that he would like to die as a martyr, he would like to die for the faith, he would like to die for Him. And his prayer was granted many years later, many years of difficulties, many years of graces, many years of consolations and desolations. And after all of these, I guess the feet of St. Brebeuf grew perfectly to fit with the shoes he was asking for.

The Lord tells us that all prayers are answered. Knock and it will be opened, seek and you will find. But we know from experience that not all prayers are answered. Whether we like it or not, some prayers are not answered, or better still, are not answered the way we like it. This then places us in a dilemma because God promises that all prayers will be answered and then somehow we experience that even good prayers don’t seem to be answered by God.

My friends let me share with you what my friend do when that occasion of difficulty and struggle occurs. When I pray, when I sacrifice and practically cry and kneel before God and ask Him to give me grace and blessing and grant my petitions and nothing happens, I look at the cross and ask the Father, “Why did you allow Your Son to suffer this way?”

It is a mystery that the Father allowed His only Begotten Son to suffer that way. It is also a mystery why some of our prayers are not answered by God the way we expect them to be answered. There will always be mysteries in life. If you can understand why the Father allowed His Son to die on the cross perhaps you will be able to understand why some good prayers are not answered.

God wants to answer our prayers. Unfortunately, in the story of Camille, our feet are still too small for the big shoes He has in store for us.

As we continue to enter deeper into this retreat, let us continually ask the Lord to keep that spirit always alive in our hearts. “You eat and you sleep so that your feet will grow big. When your feet are big enough, I will grant you the shoes you are asking for.”

St. John Brebeuf, St. Isaac Jogues, and companions, pray for us.

Arthur W. Nebrao, Jr., S.J.

prayer for final exams in education

{I was assigned today in leading the prayer before the exam so I made this prayer and I think my classmates really liked it.}












Dearest Lord,
source of all knowledge and understanding
We humbly beg You for the grace of a learned heart
That we may be able to give ourselves fully in our assessments
especially for this class -- Foundations of Education
Help us Lord to recall the different Psychological Theories of Education
both the Non-experimental and the Experimental
And also appreciating the differences
between Behavioral and Cognitive Theories of Learning
Help us Lord to also bear in mind the important role of Philosophy in Education,
from the simplicity of Naturalism to the complexities of Existentialism
as well as the worth of Guidance Counseling and Values Education
But most of all Lord, we simply beg you
to help us become good teachers, right here at this very moment
so that after this final test, our desires may be like yours
which is to teach goodness and help those who are in need.
Amen.

even for a while

This is a very good song. For the past weeks, "waiting" has been a theme in my life. Waiting for what? I don't know. But you know the feeling of waiting? This is how I am feeling. And in the midst of "waiting" my God is with me.

Even for a while
Gary Valenciano

Why do hearts feel the way they do
Why does mine wanna say that I love you
Till the end of time
Till I lose my mind
Till it’s over and left so far behind

I just can’t keep it all inside
So unbelievable how much I’ve tried
Yet I call for you
I long for you
And I say the words I wish you’d want to hear
Though you’re never near

[chorus]
Our heats and though they beat as one
But time, the time for us will never come
So I, I just go on
And just remember those eyes
That look right through my heat
The smile that shows what’s in you
That makes me wanna cry
Coz I know
I’ll never have you even for a while

Now all is said and done it seems
I keep remembering what I would call a dream
Where you came true
For a minute or two
That was all the time it took
To make me know you had to go
[Repeat Chorus]

Cause I know
I’ll never have you…
And I know
I’ll never have you
Even for a while…

my speech during richie fernando exhibit launch

Good afternoon. Let me start with a story. One night, while Weyms, Shio, and myself, were having dinner with Fr. Provincial, ideas were popping out on how to celebrate the 10^th Death Anniversary of Richie Fernando. One original idea was a youth camp for the Socially Oriented Organizations in the Loyola Schools. I was so eager to spearhead the idea. While I was moving around the groups in Loyola Schools, trying to sell the idea, I was sadden to hear the question: “Bro, who is Richie Fernando?” Then I realized, indeed it has been ten years.

So we decided to start with this simple exhibit with the conviction to rekindle that spirit in which Richie echoed one October ten years ago. Let me share with you some thoughts about Richie…

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13)

On 17 October 1996, Filipino Jesuit Scholastic “Richie” Fernando laid down his life for his friends at the Jesuit Refugee Service’s school for disabled called Bataey Prieb (Center of the Dove), near Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A disturbed student was about to throw a hand grenade into a classroom of other students. Richie grabbed him from behind. The grenade fell of the ground and exploded. Richie was killed instantly, while everyone else survived.

Those students were truly Richie’s friends; he loved them and wished to dedicate his life to their service. Even the one who caused his death said of him, “Richie ate rice with me, we were friends.” The others, on wheelchairs and crutches, formed a guard of honor at his wake. Days later, as his body was being buried with his fellow Jesuits at Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, his friends in Cambodia solemnly carried an urn containing cloths soaked in his blood to a Buddhist burial mound sculpted by themselves.

The instant in which Richie grappled with the student rather than saving himself was his moment of truth; it revealed what was deepest within him. There was no time to think. He acted by instinct, an instinct honed by values learned in a loving family, by two years (1988-90) of coming to know himself better and Christ better in Arvisu House Jesuit Prenovitiate, by his vows and retreats as a Jesuit, by his response to his missionary call.

Thus, he could say it all in a letter written four days before his death, “I know where my heart is. It is with Jesus Christ, who gave his life for the poor, the sick, the orphan…”

The items from the exhibit are taken from the collections of the Fernando Family, Arvisu House, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Loyola House of Studies, collections of Fr. Jojo Magadia and Sch. Robbie Sian, pieced together here by the Juniors, Sch. Jason Dy, and myself. This exhibit will be displayed in the Loyola Schools, the High School, in Xavier Schoolx, and other possible areas until December. Having said all of these, without formalities, I welcome you to the opening of the Richie Fernando 10^th Death Anniversary Exhibit here in Loyola House of Studies.

10th death anniversary of richie fernando

if i told you

This is really a good song from the play the wedding singer broadway musical ost. Enjoy.

Standing here underneath your window
Searching for some kind of sign
Every move, every tiny gesture
Only proves that you're not mine
I could write you a thousand love songs
Search the world for the perfect tune and rhyme
But what good would it do when it seems I'm out of time

If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Will you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know

Who's that girl with the perfect future
Her reflection says it all
Trying hard to pretend she's eager
Searching for some way to stall
So unsure of the road she's chosen
Faced with feelings her heart should not allow
One thing's certain, it seems
That she just can't turn back now
If she can, tell her how

If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you (if I hold you)
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know

Would it just be better...
Not to know

a community in love

Homily
Memorial of St. Andrew Kim Taegon and companions
14 August 2006

Before I would begin my sharing, I would just like to make two points clear. First of all, as some of you have asked me, this sharing is not about my love life or anything that deals with relationships that are “more than friends but less than lovers.” Second, this sharing is not a Papal Bull or some sort that I am passing down or it is not intended to single out any ACLC member for that matter. This sharing, though how difficult it will be for me as a moderator, is simply a reminder to all of us on how we can grow as an authentic Christian community. Having said all of these, I begin my sharing.

A Good Shepherd sister-friend of mine told me a story about the sinking of a ship. It was called the MV Cassandra, and it sunk en route from Butuan to Cebu more than twenty years ago. The ship never reached her destination. The MV Cassandra went down into the sea bringing several hundred passengers with her.

There were four Good Shepherd sisters on that ship: Sisters Consuelo, Consolacion, Concepcion and Virginia. At one point during the sinking, they were given their own individual life vests. They immediately took them and put them on. However, when they started going around the ship, they realized that many of the passengers did not have any life vests simply because there were not enough for all.

Thus, what these four sisters did was, without any hesitation, they courageously took off their own life vests and gave them to people who had none. In the end, when rescuers started recovering and counting the bodies of the victims who had drowned, they included the bodies of these four sisters – Consuelo, Consolacion, Concepcion and Virginia.

My friends I started with this story because it tells us so much on community life which is an integral part of being an ACLCer. Community life is not simply meeting together in a certain place at a certain time, doing communal activities like prayer and apostolate, then afterwards go home. No. Community life is more than just a gathering. Community life involves acts of love especially listening and companionship. But to do either without love is an empty gesture and bears no fruit. In ACLC, we are invited to love one another, not in a romantic way but in Christ-like. The most helpful thing one member can do for another is to love him or her, and this is as valid for Christian relationships as for any other kind.

This is my second year as your moderator. And perhaps part of my job description, and perhaps most of you already know this, is to take care of members with “special needs.” Often times, it is sad to hear their stories how they fall in love with a fellow ACLCer. Let me give you a ficticious example. It started out with happy relationship. He likes her and she likes him. Happy. Then when difficulties and challenges come, it is really a struggle to keep such a relationship. Then you ask yourself: “Paano na lang ang PS ko kasi nan doon siya? Paano ang area? Ang retreat? Ang welcoming night? Ang caroling? Ang EvSem? Ang paglalaro ng paborito kong bridge? Paano na lang?” What makes the situation worst is that, your unitmates, your areamates, and no doubt the entire community got involved already in various forms. There seems to be no escape when you are in such a situation because for the reason that we are simply a community.

This kind of loving is our way of loving that is initially be self-centered. Our way of loving may be self-seeking, self-serving. Many times, perhaps, we are too concerned with “what will I get in return? What will I receive in return? Ano kapalit nito?”

In ACLC, we have this term called the “grace of waiting.” And I do believe in this. There are greater fruits in waiting. And what better place to practice authentic love than in ACLC. That is why we need to realize that our quality of loving needs to be given time – time to grow, time to deepen. This is so because we do not immediately begin to love God with all our heart, with all our mind, and all our strength. And surely, we do not all of a sudden just begin to love our neighbor as we love our selves. That is why we go to prayers sessions and area despite whatever feelings we have because we are called to love when love seems to be empty. Indeed it is quite apparent that we are not natural-born lovers.

However, after much practice – after much daily, constant regular practice – our quality of loving may slowly, gradually begin to become better and better. Our quality of loving may slowly, gradually begin to become more and more radical – more and more Christ-like even – and less and less self-serving, less and less self-seeking.

My friends let me go straight to the point. I am not saying that you must not fall in love with a fellow ACLCer or I am not saying it is forbidden to be an ACLC couple. No. Look around you, such relationship do work. And perhaps you also heard the sad stories how it didn’t work and brought even more problems to many members. No one will ever stop you. But, but, but before you enter such a relationship in ACLC, please, please, please, think and reflect upon the reasons you entered ACLC. Did you join ACLC to be in a relationship? Or did you join ACLC to have relationships? If you have the answer to this question, then I do believe you have embraced what true love really is. And I think you are helping the ACLC community this way.

To end this sharing, let us go back with our story of the Good Shepherd sisters. What those four sisters did at the sinking of the MV Cassandra was not an isolated event. They had been loving much even before this disaster. They had been caring much long before this tragedy tool place. What happened in that boat was just a culmination, a climax to all the acts of loving in their lives.

Practice. Waiting. This is what love is all about. This is how the art of loving works. This is how, in the end, we can learn to love with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. That is why we should not belittle our simple acts of loving. We should not belittle our very capacity to love. Giving thank, forgiving people – especially those who have hurt us – giving our time and our presence to others, affirming them, telling them “You’re ok!” This is how we begin.

And if we start this way, I’m sure whatever ship, whatever sea, and whatever weather you are in, I am sure you are one of those who can easily give out your life vests away. Amen.

gk video

homily

Memorial of St. Maximilian M. Kolbe
14 August 2006

Today we celebrate the memorial of St. Maximillian Kolbe; Pope John Paul II canonized Maximilian as a "Martyr of Charity" in 1981. Saint Maximilian Kolbe is considered a patron of journalists, families, prisoners, the pro-life movement and the chemically addicted. Saint Maximilian died in 1941 in a Nazi prison camp where he offered his life, to die in the stead of the other prisoners.

As many of you know, I was assigned in Bilibid Prisons for two years working as a rehabilitation officer. Those two years were memorable for me because those years were the period of lethal executions. Out of seven who were executed, I reached and known all the other six convicts. I did not reach Echegaray. During an execution day, our office was in charge of the family of these convicts. We try to help them in any way we can to face those crucial moments of their lives. One time, as I vividly remember, I was tasked to watch the kids of the convict – a young teen girl and a little boy. The little boy was too busy playing with his toys while the girl was just sitting still in one corner. So I approached the girl and asked her if she is okay. Perhaps it was the dumbest question to ask during those times. She remained silent for a while. Then she answered, “Sana po ako na lang ang nasa lugar ni tatay para magkasama sila nina nanay at bunso.” At first, I was stunned by her reply. Perhaps there is something wrong with what she said. But then I realized there is more right and truthfulness in her words.

I think this simple incident has many things to say us, especially for us Jesuits. When the time comes for us to give ourselves fully, for the poor, for the sick, for the dying, for a cause, for a friend, for a brother, can we truly say, “We are really there for these?” Perhaps in all of our formation years, we are constantly reminded of the meaning of the Cross, yet at the same time, we are also reminded of our weaknesses and limitation. But I think the important thing here is that we are asked go beyond ourselves, to continue on loving and loving. This is true giving. This is true dying.

Like what in our Gospel today Jesus said, "The Son of Man will be delivered into human hands, and they will kill him. But he will rise on the third day." This was the faith of Maximillian Kolbe; fueled by the love of Christ and the Virgin mother; he embraced death joyfully. Through the death, which Christ underwent on the Cross, the redemption of the world was achieved, for this death has the value of supreme love. Through the death of Father Maximilian Kolbe, a shining sign of this love was renewed in our century which is seriously and in so many ways threatened by sin and death.”

St. Maximilian M. Kolbe, pray for us.

Arthur W. Nebrao, Jr., S.J.
JP Chapel

student profie for education of the gifted

My name is Arthur Williams Nebrao, Jr., SJ. I will be turning 29 years old this November. I grew up as an adopted child in Zamboanga City, but for the past eight years, I was staying here in Manila. On 1998 I graduated BS in Computer Science at Ateneo de Zamboanga University. After college, I taught for one year in the same school teaching Systems Analysis and Basic programming. I also maintain the school system as part of my staff load.

After some time of discernment, I volunteered with the Jesuit Volunteers Philippines. This is a lay organization which sends volunteers as teachers, youth organizer, pastoral workers, NGO program officers, campus ministers and social workers to different poor areas in the country. I was then assigned with Philippine Jesuit Prison Service in the New Bilibid Prisons. I served as a rehabilitation officer for the soon-to-be-released-prisoners under the Pre-Release Rehabilitation program. For the latter part of my stay, I was one of the organizers of Juvenile Assistantcy Program which aims to foster rehabilitation for youth offenders in Bilibid. Proud to say our efforts gave way for the effectively of the Juvenile Delinquency Law and the abolition of death penalty in the country. I stayed there for two wonderful and fruitful years before I enter the Philippine Province of the Society of Jesus on 2001 as a Prenovice.

Presently I am a Jesuit Scholastic taking up MA Philosophy in Ateneo de Manila as part of the two year Philosophy formation program. Hopefully after this school year, I will be sent for the two year Regency formation program which gives us the opportunity to teach basic education in the different Ateneo schools or to do mission work in Cambodia or East Timor. This is all part of the eleven years formation program of the Society of Jesus.

Since I have accomplished enough Philosophy courses since I have started, I was asked to take the eighteen units of Education in order to take the licensure as well as to use these foundations in education during my regency work.

Presently, I don’t teach any class. But what I can share is that we are assigned in different apostolates. My primary apostolate is moderating the Ateneo Christian Life Community (ACLC). This is a student organization in the Loyola Schools which focuses on three aspects of formation: prayer, community, and apostolate. The consolation I am experiencing with ACLC is guiding and experiencing the magnanimity of the youth in proclaiming God’s love and social justice to the poor. My secondary apostolate comes in the form of spiritual direction, retreat and recollection giving, as well as doing multi-media projects for the various offices in the Province. If I may include, it is really a challenge and a grace to guide these gifted and unique souls as they journey in their own life. I may not be teaching but I have close contact with students as a moderator of ACLC and in the process I could help the students realize their giftedness.

Arthur W. Nebrao, Jr., SJ
Ma Ph
5 August 2006
for Education of the Gifted